Holy Crap: Stick-On Fart Neutralizers Are Things That Exist

There’s no graceful way to introduce this product, so we’ll just cut to the chase: “Subtle Butt” is a disposable patch of fabric with an “activated carbon layer…to which stench adheres and gets neutralized.” Except there’s nothing subtle about farting. In short, Subtle Butt is a small square of fabric you stick to your underwear just in case you lay a real stinky egg. If it’s loud, you’re on your own. Subtle Butt does nothing to muffle sound. Gross. (Almost as gross as period undies).

Yes, this is a real product you can buy. Five Subtle Butt patches cost just $11.95.



Thank you, Stylist, for bringing the Subtle Butt to our attention. The blog spoke with creator Kim Olenicoff who says, “I use them on airplanes, after a chili meal, and even on my dog…It’s kind of embarrassing, but it’s better to have it in and not be embarrassed.”

Olenicoff is the brains behind Solutions That Stick , a company that boasts a line of adhesive products to solve a range of everyday problems from slouchy boots to camel toe. You heard right, the “Knicker Sticker” is a little heart-shaped patch you stick to the crotch of your pants to eliminate camel toe, VPL, and, well, who knows what else.

Would you try the Subtle Butt? They’ve even put out this equal parts hilarious and disgusting instructional video.