Your Guide To Surviving Heatpocalypse NYC And Never Leaving Your Apartment

Here's the bad news: it's hot out. Like, hottest day in 9 years hot. Like, we're getting cooked alive hot. The good news? We live in New York City, and can have literally anything we could possibly need delivered. No need to leave your apartment ever again!-

We wrote this for ourselves, because, let's face it, we're not planning on leaving our air conditioned office ever again. Here is our official guide to not going outside until October!

For Dinner

Ok, so most New Yorkers know how to work a delivery menu. You have your favorite Chinese places, and Cafe Gitane on speed-dial for when you absolutely need Avocado Toast. But if you're going to be bored inside all day, and are looking to change things up, here are our suggestions…

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• High brow: Only in NYC can you get a Mario Batali meal delivered to your door for less than $20. Otto, Batali's afforable enoteca, offers delivery, so you can enjoy a delectable meal of Guanciale pizza and olive oil ice cream in the comfort of your AC.

• Middle Brow: If hot weather makes you think of summer camp when your mom used to pack your lunch, then you should get delivery from Peanut Butter & Co. Get Ants on a Log and a cold glass of milk, and you're back in 3rd grade…

• Low Brow: Lord knows sometimes you just need some fries and some soft serve and some nuggets. Happily, we live in the ONLY city in the world in which McDonald's delivers. Because yes, we are that lazy.

For Dessert…

Food is obviously the easiest thing to get delivered: if you live in NYC, you've ordered pizza and Chinese food and possibly even groceries right to your door. But did you know…

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• You can get cookies delivered! Insomnia Cookies will deliver hot out of the oven cookies (including the amazing Smore's Deluxe) right to your door, even at 2 am.

• You can get PIE delivered! Is there a better way to beat the heat than with a Key Lime Pie? Billy's Bakery in Chelsea and Tribeca will deliver the summery treat.

• You can get Tasti-D-Lite delivered! The minimum order is $15, which goes pretty far at Tasti-D-Lite, so maybe have some friends over for a fake tasteless ice cream party? (Just kidding, Tasti-D-Lite, you know we love you.)

For Clothes…

If you're going to spontaneously move into your office/friend's house/nearest place for airconditioning, you're going to need some some clothes.

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• So say you need a special outfit to sashay around your apartment in lockdown mode. We suggest you turn to the original, the best: Rent the Runway. Not only can you have a variety of dresses and accessories delivered to your door, but the fun chat/stylist service is like the 2010 version of everyone's favorite AIM-bot, Smarterchild. (Remember Smarterchild?)

• If cabin-fever makes you want to do some serious damage to your credit card, Net-A-Porter also offers same day delivery to New York customers. I mean, it's hot guys. You NEED a new swimsuit for lounging around your house.

• Sometimes, you just need clean socks, and there's no way you're going to the laundromat in this heat. MyLaundryOnline.com is still in Beta form, but it's shaping up to be like the delivery.com of laundry: just enter your address and schedule a pick up. Someone will come to your door, take your dirty laundry, and deliver the clean clothes back to you.

For alcohol…

• If you're going to be stuck inside all day, might as well make some margaritas! Curshwineco.com is just one of the many services in NYC which will delivery wine and spirits on the same day in Manhattan. Ain't no party like a stuck inside cause it's 10000 degrees party!

For drugs…

• Obviously we don't know anything about this, but if you ask your friends, we're pretty sure someone will be able to recommend a nice college boy to come to your door and give you whatever you may need to entertain yourself. We won't judge. Staring at your wall can get boring eventually.

For books…

• If you're more bookworm than party animal, Barnes & Noble offers same day delivery in Manhattan. Who needs a kindle when we live in a city where we can get the real thing?

For airconditioning…

• Buying a window air conditioner may be the best $200 you spend all year. They're available at Bed, Bath & Beyond, which offers same day delivery in Manhattan for $15.

For swimming pools….

• How awesome would you feel hanging out on the roof with this baby? Order it now, and you could be sipping a margarita poolside (on your roof, or in your living room) by 3 pm!