Dear Tour de France Organizers,First of all, we would like to congratulate Alberto Contador on winning this prestigious race. Truly an amazing achievement. It was an exciting competition this year, even though some of us may have been forced to watch against our will.
However, we would like to offer some sartorial suggestions for next year’s Tour. While we don’t really love the tight spandex worn by the riders, we completely understand the necessity and functionality of this garb. Our concern is not the cyclists.
Indeed, it is the so-called “podium girls,” or those who doll out the awards each evening. We understand that they are a long-standing Tour tradition. We will avoid NASCAR comparisons and let our colleagues over at Jezebel critique the inherent chauvinism.
The outfits that these women wear are absolutely unacceptable.
You are France! Besides wine and cheese, fashion is one of your national resources. Even more disturbing, Lagardère, which holds a stake in ownership of the Tour, owns Elle magazine. Surely they have access to some amazing closets?
We’re quite certain any French design house would be proud to whip up something a bit more dignified for these ladies to wear. With all the stages and various jersey colors, the options are endless. To give you some ideas of how to elevate the style of the podium girls, many of whom are gorgeous and deserve better dresses, we have scoured recent French collections for you.
Never again should we have to see a Power Bar-branded pleather catsuit grace the podium.
You’re welcome,
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