Can it be true? Has Chuck Bass found another long-term lady love to heal his aching … ahem, heart post-Blair breakup?! Follow the jump at your own risk …
As we reported, Clemence Poesy (or, as she will henceforth be referred to, Pesty) has been cast as Eva, a French-born love interest for Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick).
The new girl comes in guilty until proven innocent, as the show has a strong fan base pulling for Chuck and (sob) now-ex girlfriend Blair (played by Leighton Meester) to romantically reunite.
The duo has been spotted filming in Paris for what's sure to be a dramatic season four debut (cast mates Blair and Serena are also on location in the French capital — INTRIGUE).
What follows is an assortment of on-set photos, as well as real live actual on-set narration and facts that we totally made up based upon our love for Chuck + Blair (Chair) 4eaeae and our totally Gossip Girl-appropriate premature judgment of this Pesty character.
Here is our brave soldier. Lost, looking mysteriously into the distance (and, thankfully, alive after last season's near-death finale). Chuck's lack of flamboyant pastels and floral print and fashion choices of Justin Bobby-esque boots and a vest are clear signs of his spiral into depression, darkness, destruction .. other D words.
And here comes our new arch-nemesis, Eva, aptly named (obviously deliberately) to rhyme with EVIL.
What a weasel.
Blair Waldorf would never wear three different shades of camel in one outfit (I am not lying — check it out, shoes, bag, coat), further marking Chuck's deterioration.
Chuck knows better! He learned his lesson(s) last season, and the sex workers are bountiful and delightfully English-illiterate in Paris! But then the Wicked Witch Lookalike-of-Kate-Moss/Kate-Hudson-Plus-30-Years whispers in his ear, and The Great Chuck Bass falls into temptation.
The evil one is smug, with her multiple shades of tan and sub-par blonde hair (surely reason enough for Serena to join Blair on the Eva-hate train).
Under her droopy-haired, no-makeup-wearing, evil Frenchie spell, Chuck follows Eva around like a sad, lost puppy, scratching his head at vague memories of shining brunette curls and a love affair with someone named Nate, until …
"Gotcha, bitch."
Producers step in, realizing that Chuck+Blair=Love/RATINGS, use a Magical Pimp Cane to restore Chuck to his former dapper self and either employ one of those Men In Black mind-eraser-thingies to restore order or play it all out as a practical joke on Evil Pesty.
At least, that's what we envision happening. Because we can't imagine a more realistic scenario under which Chuck Bass should ever, ever develop a legitimate love interest other than Blair Waldorf. Come back to the light, Chuck!
(All this and the season doesn't even premiere until September 13. Help.)
[Photos via Just Jared and Zimbio]
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